Epic Rap Battles of TCG!
by Luminous107
Summary: Just a random idea that sounded fun, no flames, but i'll let you decide who won and who goes next. I'm open to suggestions if anyone wants to request them. Old Skool vs. New Generation and/or author's choice, I'm fine with whichever.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I was hanging out with some friends and we were talking about the old days of the Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG and how much it's changed. Then as a joke we started to randomly point out how some of the old school cards are being reprinted and remodeled for the new generation. I randomly said they should duel…IN A RAP BATTLE! So without further ado I will present for your amusement these battles. I'm collaborating with one of my other friends who is a rapper, he used to play the game back in the day and we'll be using what he can remember to fill in the rhymes. I own nothing except lyrics, well not ALL of them but yeah, cards and ideas come from NicePeter and EPIC LLOYD and Konami respectively. Enjoy!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF TCG!

Chapter 1: Dark Magician vs. No. 39 Utopia

Begin!

(Utopia)

You're the first and I'm the last yet we have the same attack

'Cept I have a great effect, which is somethin' that you lack

So you better step back cuz' you're a purple Harry Potter

I need 2 level 4's while you're in need of tribute fodder

Dark Magic Attack got replaced with Rising Sun Slash

And with Double or Nothing I'll still be kickin' your ass

Where's your Time Wizard to make you Dark Sage, old-timer?

Any duelist who ever sees you will be in a dusty old binder!

(Dark Magician)

You were born 39 you'll never be number 1

You're so hyped and overrated it's only a matter of time before you're gone

You may be the present trump but I'll always be the ace

Like Neos and Stardust I'll put you back in your place

Konami only knows what you do inside that key

I'm with Dark Magician Girl doin' things your dub won't let kids see

I'm Egyptian history while you're still a mystery

If our owners were to duel guess who'd lose in misery?

(Utopia)

I'm the one who wins the duel, you're the one who hits the grave

I'm an emperor, I'm a boss and my owner's most fave

But this isn't about them, it's between us both

Like the growth in your Girl's fanboys when she has no clothes

There's a reason you're a vanilla card because you are just that

You may have a decent attack but have you recently checked your stats?

You have no protection and no HOPE…for survival

Sorry to break it to ya' but you're as useless as a Thousand-Eyes Idol!

(Dark Magician)

I'm the master of magic, attack and defense

The way your earn your victories just don't make any sense

All you numbers are the same, you're effects are changed, oh what a shame

Just wait until you reach the point when it's no longer a game

I'll admit and I agree your generation is consistent

Except without us you wouldn't even come to existence

Respect the OG's cuz' thanks to us the game is decent

I've had better artworks than you've ever had more reprints.

A?N: You already know what to do, I don't need to say it…ok just this once. WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EEEEEEPIC RAP BATTLES OF TCG! I'm letting everyone else know now, I've got help on the way for the next chapter but feel free to leave who you think won and suggestions of cards you'd like to see duel it out in a rap battle in your reviews. Also if you want you can leave a verse or two, and if you do then I'll be sure to mention you in the next chapter, I don't really expect you to but it's your choice. Next chapter…Blue-Eyes White Dragon vs. Galaxy-Eyes Photon Dragon, I can't wait for this one!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I have no comment on the last chapter's review, all I can say is that I'm going to be the bigger man and just let it go. Here's what I promised you, the 2nd chapter, enjoy!

Chapter 2: Blue-Eyes White Dragon vs. Galaxy-Eyes Photon Dragon

BEGIN!

(Blue-Eyes)

I'm the Blue-Eyes White Dragon, I'm the original 3K boss

I've beaten so many opponents an' soon YOU'LL be joinin' their loss

You're a cheap knock-off of me, so much so its like I'm your fantasy

Like your name I'll send your photon ass up to the galaxy!

My owner is the real dragon master, he owns three of me

The cover card of a worthless set is all that you will ever be

My artworks and reprints just keep getting more badass

Don't get me started on your robot counterpart, the trashy fatass

The more I get upgraded I will soon be elevated

Back to the top tiers, while your use keeps getting faded

Let's skip right into the end so I can finish your disruption

Don't ever waste my time again, BURST STREAM OF DESTRUCTION!

(Blue-Eyes blasts Galaxy-Eyes but GEPD grabs him and banishes them both to another dimension)

BEWD: Wha-? Where am I?

GEPD: You're in MY world now!

(Galaxy-Eyes)

You're all roars and no bite with your white lightning strike

And your dub fooled everyone by getting kids to believe the hype

You're structure deck-cheap and you no longer survive fights

So bow down before me, I rule TWO archetypes!

Why don't you go join Dark Magician in someone's old dusty binder?

I've had a better challenge comin' from Gimmick Puppet Giant Grinder

I have the effect they never gave you so stop acting like you're tough

Only reason Kaiba has three of you is cuz' one is not enough

It's rough when you know that Photon Galaxy makes impacts

My owner loves HIS brother; yours keeps letting his get kidnapped!

There's a new structure deck that's supposed to bring you back

Don't talk about counterparts, how 'bout yours? The one who's red and black?

Red-Eyes Black Dragon: What ABOUT me? (Enters the battle)

(Red-Eyes)

Blue-eyes brings the power but I bring all the potential

It's essential to us all but players know that I am special

I've had better forms than you with a big broken effect

Red-Eyes Darkness Metal Dragon, so what more can you expect?

I am highly collectable, holos shinier than bubbles

GX couldn't stand without me so I appeared on the double

I'm a prized possession, I'm red-eyed and black

You won't even see me comin' when I go for the attack

G.E. your archetype is looked down upon to this day

And B.E. you rule what, a stone and Kaiba in cosplay?

You're both looked over, not even child's play, useless

Like tachyons, you're both hypothetical douches!

No. 107 Galaxy-Eyes Tachyon Dragon: WHAT was that about tachyons?! (No. 107 lands to join in.)

(No. 107)

Don't even start with me, I'm the dragon who rules all

Hey I'll even make wiki pages about your rise and fall

I won't say what's been said, Blue, Photon and Red

But I think it's safe to say that all three of you might as well be dead

Make way for the next generation of Eyes (surprise!)

I came in the most expensive set, and that's no lie

Now let me tell you why you three have so many flaws

And it's not because you're 'nilla cards, so please just pause

Blue! You're a kids' card, your fusion only came out after Shining

How could he be summoned? Only after two years' whining

Photon and Red, well now where do I begin?

Dark Hole and Bottomless, there, I win!

WHO WON? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF TCG!

A/N: Due to the lack of reviews and, to an extent, positive feedback, I've decided NOT to continue these fics and just go back to my other stories. It was at least fun while it lasted and I hope at least someone got a good laugh out of it. Until next time!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I've been convinced to continue this series for a little while longer and as usual suggestions are always welcome. If you have nothing good to suggest then don't say a word. Now I present to you round 3, the Dino Duo v.s the Chaos Keepers!

Chapter 3: No. 61 Volcasaurus & No. 19 Freezadon vs Adreus, Keeper of Armageddon & Tiras, Keeper of Genesis

BEGIN!

(Both)

We're the Dino Duo

and we're comin' straight to ya,

straight polar opposites, owned by Yuma Tsukumo

(Volcasaurus)

So you better prepare yourselves

(Freezadon)

it's over, losers

(Volcasaurus)

We're run in any deck

(Freezadon)

Not just dino users

(Volcasaurus)

It took us over a year to hit the TCG

(Freezadon)

That's how broken we are, are you both too blind to see?

(Volcasaurus)

We'll destroy you and inflict heavy damage to your life points

(Freezadon)

Stop thinking you're the Envoys

(Both)

Kane and Abel boys!

(Tiras)

May Konami have you blessed…

(Adreus)

WE'LL LAY YOU BOTH DOWN TO REST!

(Tiras)

We have similar effects but you're the farthest from the best

(Adreus)

19 & 61, FROM A CHEAP TIN!

(Tiras)

Have you both had enough?

(Adreus)

CUZ' WE'RE ABOUT TO BEGIN!

(Tiras)

You think you're so special? You made the OCG you're home

Meanwhile we're the ones who rocked the game harder than stones

(Adreus)

YOU BOTH ARE GONNA BURN AND YOU'RE GONNA GET WET!

(Tiras)

Don't you ever forget

(Adreus)

WE'RE FROM THE FIRST ZEXAL SET!

(Volcasaurus)

Number 19 fuels me, don't ever try to duel me

(Freezadon)

You both will not succeed

(Volcasaurus)

Or else we'll have to school thee'

(Freezadon)

We will take over the game, leave you to eat our dust

(Volcasaurus)

Become a staple in the deck just like Stardust

(Freezadon)

You say you can survive strikes well let's see you try this

(Volcasaurus)

You're both things of the past

(Both)

Like the vehicroids from Syrus

(Tiras)

I respect both your claims…

(Adreus)

BUT WE'RE BOTH HERE TO FIGHT!

(Tiras)

We can take you both on, any day and any night

(Both)

We're number 1

(Adreus)

IN GENERATION FORCE!

(Tiras)

Strip you of your materials

(Both)

AND MAKE YOU OUR WHORES!

YOU'RE NOT INDESTRUCTABLE, WE'VE SEEN YOU GET BEATEN

YOU'RE RARITY'S AS BIG AS YOUR APPEARANCE FIRST SEASON!

(Adreus)

WE'LL POP YOU FROM THE FIELD AND THEN WE'LL GO ALL IN!

(Freezadon)

Forget fire and water

(Both)

IT'S CHAOS FOR THE WIN!

WHO WON? WHO's NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

A/N: R&R and leave suggestions, I already received some so get ready for the next one. No spoilers this chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I've been getting a lot of requests for this one and it's finally here. I own nothing except the lyrics so enjoy!

Chapter 4: Rescue Rabbit vs. Rescue Cat

BEGIN!

(Rescue Cat)

Oh wow, are you serious? My replacement's a rabbit?!

My rarity went up while yours dropped like a bad habit

Yeah it's true I'm banned, that's how broken I am

Most innocent cat in the game and I don't give a damn!

Five sets bitch! You're reprinted in the second

Hey remember when your price was the same as Number 11?

I special summon monsters with effects to defend

But when your cottontail hits the field they ask, 'YOU'RE the one they sent?

Use your outdated walkie-talkie an' go call for back-up

Cuz' you'll need 'em when I'm through with you and your deck sack-ups

I was runnin' with the top tiers an' winnin' all the games

Call me Charlie Sheen cuz' I've got tiger blood in my veins!

(Rescue Rabbit)

Yes, you are Charlie Sheen and I say it as I face you

Call me Ashton Kutcher cuz' I'm the one who replaced you!

I'd say you're old news but it's already been said

Cuz' I'm talkin' to a cat who acts like he's never been fed!

Photon Shockwave was the set I was released

On the year of the rabbit so I'm obliged to do as I please

I'm rockin' this helmet with sincerity and dignity

Yours just keeps dropping much like your rarity

I'm hoppin' on this rap as I summon my subordinates

First turn rank 4, how you like my coordinates?

Just dissin' all the decks you were in is just too easy

You're a worn-out pussy who was pimped out to G.B.'s

(Rescue Cat)

Oh yeah like YOU'RE one to talk, you're used more than the Solemn Duo

Evilswarms, Macros, Dinos, you HO!

It's only a matter of time before I return to the game

And when I do my name will bring yours to shame!

(Rescue Rabbit)

You challenge me? Fine, I accept, just don't hold your breath

The ban list is your purgatory but it's better than your death

So forget about that day and screw everything you say

My name is Rescue Rabbit, and I'm here to stay

Who won? Who's next? You decide!

Epic Rap Battles of TCG!

A/N: I know this one's a little shorter than most but there's not much more to say about these two. I quit the game before Cat was released so I wasn't around when they banned him and I heard some stuff about Rabbit so I pretty much used up all my best rhymes for the first two parts. Hope ya liked it, until next time!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Oh this is going to be fun, I couldn't let this one pass up. Many have suggested the TCG Diva Dark Magician Girl to participate in a rap battle but I couldn't find a good enough opponent for her. After discussing it with my group we've decided to have her in an 'Old Skool vs. New Generation' battle and thanks to a fan of the game I present it to ya! I own nothing except the lyrics.

**Chapter 5: Gagaga Girl & Magi Magi Magician Gal vs. Dark Magician Girl**

Epic Rap Battles of TCG!

Gagaga Girl & Magi Magi Magician Gal vs. Dark Magician Girl!

BEGIN!

(Gagaga Girl)

For the love of Konami, where the Shadow Realm should we begin?

Dark Magician Girl went from Diva to has-been

(Magi Magi Magician Gal)

You couldn't be more objectified much less over sex-posed

But what could we expect from a girl who wears thin fabric clothes?

(G-Girl)

You'll suck in this battle just like you sucked as a sorceress

It's not the only thing you suck but it's the only thing you do best

(MMM-Gal)

We've been taken more serious right from the very start

We're not the ones who have a toon for a counterpart

(DMG)

As far as Magic Girls go you're both the most immature

With those get-ups you're wearing I'm sure you're not even 'pure'

I have so many counterparts that I'm leading an army

And yes, you're both a part of it so don't think you can harm me

(to G-Girl) my scepter is used as a broom, wand and staff

While your Power Rangers Mystic Force cell-wand is all you have

(to MMM-Gal) it's the Epic Rap Battles of TCG, plain and clear

You're still in the OCG so why the Shadow Realm are YOU here?

(G-Girl)

You're a man-toy to fan-boys and it's easy to believe

The only play that you'll see is when you're taken out of your sleeve!

(MMM-Gal)

We're the next generation cuz' they like us young and hot

And it's only a matter of time before you drop and rot

(G-Girl)

We're useful in archetypes you're a part of a small series

You're artworks are just one pole away from a striptease

(MMM-Gal)

You're a waste of deck space, you're not even worth runnin'

It's the 4th of July, shouldn't you be blowin' somethin'?

(DMG)

Don't hate me because I am beloved all over the world

I'm a full grown woman while you're both stuck as little girls

(to G-Girl) it's only been two years and you're barely remembered

Your archetype is weak so you might as well surrender

(back to both) I am your superior, you don't threaten me one bit

Come back when you're older and maybe then I'll give a shit

It's too soon to think you're me so stop playing Sailor Moon

This rap battle's over, girls, now GO TO YOUR ROOMS!

**WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!**

A/N: R&R and PM me any suggestions. Hope you enjoyed it, until next time!


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Maxx C vs. Effect Veiler**

**A/N: I won nothing but lyrics, enjoy!**

**Epic Rap Battles of TCG! Maxx C vs. Effect Veiler **

**Begin!**

(Veiler)

I have two different uses, I'm a tuner and negator

You're full of hopeless draws, you'll be gone sooner or later

You're a cockroach, twinkle-eyes, and I'll squash you like a bug

You hide in household spaces because of your ugly mug

In Storm of Ragnarock your rarity was a secret

Then your price went to shit, all thanks to your tin reprint

But all my other reprints just keep getting much better

And they're just as expensive, I'm anti-meta!

I appeared in the anime you didn't have so much as a cameo

Why don't you go back to eating your breakfast, 4Kids's patio?

(Maxx C)

I'm an entire army leading swarms to victory

Pot of Greed ain't got nothin' cuz' we're a part of history

May your ass be damned, cuz' I'm the one who's goin' H.A.M

Just proves to you how good I am, I counter Six-Sams!

You may be good now but soon you'll run for the hills

I've seen better monster negation from Breakthrough Skill

My counterparts are by my side, we strike when we hide

You can't even stop us with your counterpart, situationalized

Tune yourself for a Synchro and I'll have Shiny Black destroy it

And the other will fly to you just for my sheer enjoyment

(Veiler)

They can counter your power and it won't change a thing

You cannot defend yourself so step out of my ring

An insect who thinks that he can contribute to the world

Almost makes as much sense as Duke and Tristan getting' the girl.

(Maxx C)

Don't think that you're better just because you can negate

We show no fear with whatever our opponent creates

I won so I'm ending this little 'fender-bender'

Even Konami spent years trying to figure out your gender.

**Who won? Who's next? You decide!**

**Read, review and PM me suggestions!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Gorz, Emissary of Darkness vs. Tragoedia**

**A/N: I know it's been a while but inspiration finally came to me so I've returned with a new rap battle between two of the most well-known Hand-traps in the game, let's see them try to top the other. I want to thank you all for faving, following and reviewing these battles while they were put on hold and a SPECIAL thanks to you all for not rushing me on these, you have really great patience. Now let's begin, I own nothing but lyrics, enjoy!**

**Epic Rap Battles of TCG! Gorz, Emissary of Darkness vs. Tragoedia!**

**BEGIN!**

**(Tragoedia)**

I am Tragoedia, now look into my eyes

Just like my name it's only relevant to your demise

You need a clear field just to come out from the hand

Just a little battle damage and I'm out on demand

You are no threat to me I'm the card that's most reckless

More valuable than you or a shiny pearl necklace

You wish you were me and don't think it wasn't hinted

Aside from the reprints you are still limited

Your requirements are whack, field presence is a must

And when the duel is over you'll be left in the dust

Your title is disgraceful, you are not an emissary

And when I'm done with you I'll celebrate with Bloody Maries!

**(Gorz)**

Emissary of Darkness now show me some respect

You're not the only one that's splashable in any deck

You depend on a carcass, Osamu Hibiki

And you're stupider than Nicki in the islands of Waikiki

I am your superior, you're lower than vermin

You cannot defeat me, your attack is undetermined

Your type is a fiend but you look just like an insect

And I'll squash you just like one, you Yubel reject

I'm the number 1 hand-trap that's played in this game

I'll bring out my token and put your ass to shame

It's still early in this rap, why not drop out like Fonda?

Your ego is so big you named yourself in the manga!

**(Tragoedia)**

You want to talk about the manga? Well let me shed you some light

Even your token couldn't make it as a card in real life

You're as fearsome as a horror film straight from the nineties

And look at you; you look like Vizor from 5D's

I'll bring you more chaos than you and your token

And I know it's been said but that's why I'm so broken

Manipulate my level and then discard a soul

Abra Cadabra now you're under my control

My owner has mentality and a strong dueling spirit

Yours is full of friendship speeches and nobody wants to hear it

You're useless now Gorzy, and everybody knows it

You're more ancient than the use of Inzektor Hornet!

**(Gorz)**

Walk down the stairway into the Underworld

Me and Kaien here will make you scream blood-curl

You only take control because you can't fight alone

Why don't you fight and fall hard just like Sylvester Stallone?

They attack and I appear and they're dead in their tracks

Screw Solemn Warning, I'll attack your ass back

No one can replace me, not you and not the next

Just face it Trag and accept that I'm the best

And even if you're summoned you will not survive with ease

Cuz' in less than a turn you'll be resting in piece

The sound of your victory is more disturbing, if I may,

Than hearing Christopher Walken reading 50 Shades of Grey!

**Who won?! Who's next?! You decide!**

**A/N: I had a lot of fun with this one, one of the lyrics was actually a joke I got from a friend. Let me know who you think won and don't hesitate to PM me any suggestions. I'll try to be back soon with another battle, until next time!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Blackwing Khalut the Moon Shadow vs. Honest**

**A/N: More hand traps coming your way, I own nothing but lyrics so enjoy!**

**Epic Rap Battles of TCG! Blackwing Khalut the Moon Shadow vs. Honest! **

**BEGIN!**

**(Khalut)**

Let me just say that I'm unlimited, Khalut the Moon Shadow

And you are still stuck at one so bro are you mad now?

I'm part of a top tier archetype, can't you see?

Gem Merchant and Blade Master got nothing on me

You wish you could be Gale but it's something you won't prevail

I'll see your ass on Springer you unholy she-male

Don't think that you're meta because Light of Destruction

Was disgraceful, distasteful, almost shut down production

This format has changed and we're now takin' over

Blackwings will rule, you're singled like ogres

I'm goin' on three and you'll forever be alone

I'll bury you deeper than the treasure of Al Capone.

**(Honest)**

Your insults are childish and your raps are pathetic

Because Blackwings are clipped so there I said it!

I'm the cover card for Light of Destruction

And I'll wipe you out faster than Volcanic Eruption

Interruption on attacks and I'm better than that

And I'll strike your ass back and I'm better than that

I'll return to the hand and I'm better than that

You call yourself a Blackwing cuz' you wish you were a bat

And on top of that your owner is just like Krillin

He takes all the hits while his crew's back chillin'

Surrender bird-boy or you'll just miss the rhyme

I'm a spirit in GX and I get the most screen time!

**(Khalut)**

Blackwings are used to swarm and overpower

Whatever deck you're used in is scrapped every hour

You're just like Effect Veiler, guessing your gender

My winged ones have risen so now you must surrender!

**(Honest)**

I bow down to no one, I'm used in many decks

Photons, Bujins, Lightsworns, Agents

You may increase attack but you're just wasted at three

I'll always be at one but you can never beat me!

**Who won? Who's next? You decide!**

**A/N: sorry for not updating sooner, this one in particular was a hard one to do because there wasn't much to 'brag' and diss' about and that's the reason why this one is so short. Still, I'll make up for it in the next rap battle, PM me any suggestions and I'll see you soon, hopefully!**


End file.
